All You Need

I’m not much of a blogger, but when I get these flashes of reality checks I usually like to jot down my thoughts. I highly suggest writing. It’s a great outlet to process the way you think. Today I had a processing moment that left me crying laughing and just reflecting on how self-absorbed I can be sometimes in all areas of life. Lets be honest…we all are.

I find the holidays way too over-rated. It’s really a big set up for disappointment or wait… maybe I’m wrong and its actually a picture perfect time where you can go back to work and say you had such an amazing holiday. As for myself, I do what I can to be as positive as possible, but sometimes its ok to get real and admit that things actually just suck! However, It’s all in your attitude and how you value your time during the holiday season. This year my attitude has been horrible! I’ve mentally blocked out Thanksgiving and Christmas. I signed up to work Thanksgiving Day and honestly it wouldn’t bother me to even work Christmas Day. I say this because it will be the first year I will spend without my sister due to the fact that a plane ticket from California to Nashville is just not feasible at this time for her. Lets think about your situation. What do the holidays make you think about? Does it re-visit memories that you typically try cover up throughout the year? It can be a hurtful time, because it is a time for family and a reminder of what is missing in your life.

I shouldn’t be associating church and the bar scene, but let’s get real. I’m single and in my mid 20’s. Where else am I going to be social and hang out with friends? The bars are not as bad as people bring it out to be. I like it because it’s a place where other people can’t judge me for not having the picture perfect life that society seems to have built up this life to be. No, I’m not at home having movie night and cooking dinner for my husband or putting my kids to bed like some of my best friends facebook status’s say. I’m actually happy in my rock star dancing land with my glow sticks and silly awesome friends. My approach: You’re only young for so long! But, then there’s this other life I seem to block out. It’s a more fulfilling life I’ve always wanted and it’s just how I grew up. Today it was raining, so I had to walk through the Sunday School building for the pre-schoolers and children in order to get to the main sanctuary. Going down the halls I saw all the cute sweater vests church attire on all the little boys, little kid umbrellas, miniature Bibles, smiles, laughter, parents swinging their kids around. It was an such an alive environment full of this love that brings me to that place where I feel so inadequate. It’s the same empty feeling I get around the holidays.

Here’s the kick. The sermon was based on how to pray. What do you pray for? New job? Peace with Marital problems? Financial situations? This is where we get all wrong. We always pray for the things that we DON’T HAVE. God I want this kind of life. Why haven’t you given me these things? When will you ever listen to me? Isn’t all this a parallel to the holidays? We typically think about what we don’t have. I want this or I want that for Christmas. It’s the ME season!  

I am reminded of the song “By Your Side” by 10^th Avenue North. This particular chorus says:

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run

The word love isn’t necessarily interpreted as a romantic love. It can be defined in all the things you might find fulfilling in your life. It can be where most of your thoughts and desires are. These are all things that are self indulging addictions. What do you think about most of the day? Where are all your thoughts and energy focused on? This is exactly where I had my ‘processing’ moment. God already has everything you need right here. All the people that are in your life right now are wonderfully perfected, designed and placed at this point in your life for a reason. Lets start with the basic needs that are currently provided for us: We have a roof over our heads, more than enough food, a paycheck that somehow pays the bills, gas, grocery’s, etc. Its human nature to be self-absorbed for survival purposes. However, there’s something much more bigger than us that we tend to ignore with our shallow lives. It’s written out for us everyday. We are just too focused on ourselves to see it. I couldn’t help but to think about all the people in my life currently. As for myself, I may have a small family and even though most of my friends are moved away and married, I am content in that I know God has given me everything I need to fulfill his purpose whether its small or large in numbers.

After church my mom and dad came back to my apartment. I insisted I show them the youtube video of the farting preacher! We watched all episodes and my mom had mascara running down her face before it was all over. We were all crying laughing! I gave my dad a big hug for his 62^nd birthday and equally gave my mother a hug while knowing that earlier this year considering the events of her health… she is here and healthy again. I locked the door and looked out my peep hole and they were making weird faces on the other side of the peep hole. In that moment I knew I was truly thankful for all that is surrounding me in my life even though its not this huge family sitting around the Thanksgiving table with an elaborate meal. I am content in knowing I will be spending Thanksgiving at my little nursing home with people who might not have any family at all. I am honored to be their family for that day. So, with that said…

Let’s focus and give thanks on the things we have and not on the things we don’t have. God will always have everything you need. 

Philippians 4:19

But my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.